Confessions Of the Only Guy at Girls' Night Out

Over the weekend I had the honor of being the sound-man during an event held in our new youth center called Girls' Night Out. It was the product of the desire that God placed on a wonderful young woman from our church. The event and her vision centered on the difference that seeking after Jesus and what truly being in love with the Lord would make in a young woman's life. Her vision was for lives to be changed and the Lord definitely delivered. The outcome was BEAUTIFUL! I think each young lady that left there left with a deeper relationship with the Lord but that wasn't all that happened...

The Lord also showed the only dude there something too. I have always viewed myself in the light that I was a "good guy" when it came to relationships. I'm not so arrogant to believe I am Prince Charming by any means but I guess relative to the way that men are encouraged to treat women in the world today I graded myself above the curve. Girls' Night Out changed that. I don't think that sitting there and hearing a young woman that I adore speak so openly about her struggles could leave me unchanged. Add to that the testimonies and stories told by young ladies that I had never met illuminated just how widespread the problem that I was guilty of truly was.

I know that without a doubt, right now I am the closest I have ever been to the Lord but even now I am not free from my own personal baggage and struggles. A large majority of that baggage is due to the things that I have done that I regret and wish I could change. Of that majority what seems like 99% of my problems stem from my failures in relationships. Please, before I go any further, understand that I don't mean "failure" in the sense that the relationships didn't work but rather that I recognize my role in the failure. This is not a person complaining about being single because I love the season of life that God has directed me into. Before this weekend I guess I knew that I had hurt women before. I had seen their tears during breakups and heard third-party accounts of their reactions and decisions post-breakup. The guilt of those things weighed heavily on their own, but Girls' Night Out upped the stakes.

I witnessed young women who were half my age cry out to Jesus and pray for help and restoration in their ridiculously young lives. To think that girls who are that young are already being let down and hurt by the failures of the boys and men in their lives is heartbreaking. Thats when the knockout blow hit me. I have made girls feel that way. I have done deeper damage than just breakup tears. I have changed the way girls saw themselves and the way they handled relationships. My opinion, my words, my actions, and my ability to lead a relationship had impacts that may have resonated with them for years. I pray that hopefully none of them thought enough of me to let my actions or words change the way they thought of themselves but the potential for that damage is there.

The takeaway is simply this, life is NOT about myself. The way we treat people matters. This does not mean the way we treat strangers, this does not mean the way we treat people we like, this does not mean the way we treat we don't life, and this does not mean the way we treat people who treat us poorly. This means the way we treat ALL people matter. The girl you go on one date with may not wind up being the one in the white dress but your actions and words still matter in her life. Build her up and treat her with respect, she's God's daughter. The friend you have known since middle school may be easy to take for advantage of but their friendship doesn't become less valuable with time. Let them know they matter, appreciate them actively, and pray for them continually. Your family member who is going through a tough time doesn't need you telling them "I told you so" or rubbing their failures in more. They need your support, they need your protection, they need to be reminded of how deep God's grace is.

Girls' Night Out was a beautiful, flower-filled reminder of how truly significant the witness we can have on other's life is. It was also a challenge to me to live each day purposefully choosing to make that impact a holy, Christ-like impact on the people I come in contact with. I pray we all see how our interactions with others can last long after the words are finished being spoken and the actions are all done and pray that the lasting effect we choose to have on others is one that reflects Jesus. Angel spoke of the grace that there is for those who have been hurt but the same grace is available to those who have both been hurt and hurt others. Thank God for that grace!!

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"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord." - 1 Corinthians 15:58

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#GirlsNightOut